the very best.

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me

You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had
We fell in love for a reason

here are some lyrics to "Best I Ever Had"...i don't know
I've been listning to this song a lot, and it pretty catchy, and then i thought about the lyrics, and weirdly enough, they related a little "too much" to me. HMMM, I feel like I've really drifted from God a lot over the past I don't evn know how long...actually, probably since the start of school. Once school kicks in, you have all this work you need to do and it's just so frustrating...GRRRR, i hate school. BUT ANYWAYS, I've just been finding it harder and harder to to spend time with God... I LACK so much MOTIVATION... not even funny. I just want to draw back to God. I miss those summer days when I got to spend ubberly loads of time at church and just serving and doing so much for God. It felt really awesome! but man...school's such a spiritual walk killer. NO JK. HMMM, I hope things will turn out for the better later on. I hope to better my relationship with God at the moment. hmph.

charcoal.

Well, lately, I don't know... it seems like I've been falling spiritually. I still remember analysing my spiritual walk for the past year at committee retreat. At a first glance, it seemed fine to me... I didn't feel as though I was falling or climbing... it was different that time. The image I got in my head was of a child in the middle of nowhere... and next to him was a latter and a rope. The rope represented a spiritual "fall" and the latter represented a "climb." BUT, this boy wasn't climbing the rope nor sliding down the rope. He was just in the middle of nowhere. He was lost. He's been lost for a long time. Oddly, this child was me. I feel lost in my spiritual walk. I have no clue where I am. I don't know whether or not I'm "supposed" to be climbing to the top or whether I should be falling right now. But atm, it seems like I'm falling. Not the greatest thing. I just feel so burnt up from school and a lot of things. Seems like I have TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS in my life that cover God's fire. Often, I remember the message that Sharon told us at CM retreat. She said that... God's always there (that fire of God)... BUT SOMETIMES you may feel cold and you feel no warmth... it's not because God moved away or left you... he's still there! The reason you're feeling cold is because there's SOMETHING BLOCKING GOD'S WARMTH.
It's going to be hard getting these distractions out of my life! There are too many. I just gotta FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS! Focus.
PRAY. fanku =)

music fast.

Just lately...well, more today.... I realised that I don't spend enough time with God. I don't take any perseverence whatspever to "get to know Him." It seems as if... I'm just standing here, waiting for God to come "impact" my life or something... I don't really know what to expect?
Living a Christian live, I must say, there are many endeavours. Like, it seems so..."deep".... "living a life where we are in a relationship with a higher being?". I've pondered this SO MANY TIMES... and... with my ubberly weird brain, it doesn't really come together... It's hard to digest i guess....THEN, i thought, "if i'm a Christian, and i have such strong doubts, how am i supposed to reach out to Non-Chrisitans?" How am i supposed to do a good job evangelising and all if I can't hold myself together? It all seems so...sketch to me right now...maybe it's just today...maybe my head is going CRAZY due to lack of sleep....i don't know, but w/e it is...i hope God will clear up my thoughts in my head and get me back on track... I THINK IT'S TIME FOR JESUS TO HAVE A MUSIC FAST :) CHRISITN MUSIC FOR THE NEXT MONTH!!!

plz pray for me :)

SOULJAHz 4 CHRIST YO!

MAN! I just went on a BLOG READING SPREE and everyone's seems so... "interesting!" They really got me thinking. The one that really sticks in my mind is Jon's post about cell phones and our Bibles! WHY DON'T WE CARRY THEM AROUND WITH US!?! Why don't we meditate on God's word everyday!?! WHY DON'T WE DO THAT!?! Is it because it's just a drag carrying a massive book around with us? Is it because we don't want to be judged? WHY DON'T WE ALL JUST BRING OUR BIBLES TO SCHOOL AND READ THEM! NOW THERE'S A CHALLENGE WORTHY TO BE CONQUERED! We SHOULD be reading our bibles everyday! ACTUALLY, I'm gonna set a goal for myself. I'm going to try to read my Bible on a weekly basis! Let's start off with that since I'm not much of a reader T-T"! NOW, i'm going to put YOU in charge of making sure I'm reading it weekly! If not...well, you can punch me...GIRLS can punch me...boys can flick me ONCE :)! TEEHEE! wow, SO off topic

WELL, again, it's the "SCHOOL" problem. I think school takes up WAY too much time in my life! LIKE HONESTLY, I think i spend SO MUCH time on school...during classes, hmwk, then other stuff to follow-up on your work >_>"! MAN! I seem like such an angry child, but I would really like this "school stress" to be lifted from my shoulders! KK, let's leave school at that. What a depressing topic! ANYWAYS

SO TODAY, WAIT NO YESTERDAY!!! I was in physics class, AND then I heard someone swear at the back... SOO, i got up, turned around, walked to his desk, and said "DON'T SWEAR! BAD BAD!" And then he said sorry! And surprisingly, it was VERY SINCERE! SO i then walked away with a wide smile on my face. THEN, i thought. I realised that the person sitting next to the guy is also Christian; why didn't "that guy" tell him not to swear? Why do most of us Christians find it so hard to stand up for what we believe in? We should be telling people not to swear and do "HORRIBLE STUFF", yet we secretly turn away... WHY? WE SHOULD BE AMBASSADORS FOR CHRIST! WE OUGHT TO BE SOULJAHz 4 CHRIST YO! wow O_O, i have no clue WHERE that came from! IMMA MAKE IT THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG NOW! Anyways, more later! DIDOMI TOMORROW! YESHHHHHH!!!!